So, the other day I’m out walking. Ahead of me, I see an old woman carrying a strange package, at arm’s length. It hangs down from her hand, grey, with patches of red near the bottom.
I think to myself, “My! That package is shaped a little like a pigeon! And look at that red! It is almost as if it could be blood! Hah! Imagine that! An old woman carrying a dead pigeon the full length of the street! Wouldn’t that be horrible!”
I should add here that I don’t always think with so many exclamation marks.
As I draw closer all becomes clear. Yes, it is a pigeon. Yes, that is blood. Yes, it is dead. And yes, the old woman has been carrying it the full length of the street.
I wonder if it has been run over, and if the woman is doing her civic duty in clearing the road of…er…roadkill. Or was it a beloved, departed family pet that she can’t bear to let go? Or was it a bizarre new fashion accessory? Or was I witnessing a rather bleak new take on the Dead Parrot sketch?
So many questions. So many theories.
Before I could wonder any further, the old woman dropped the dead pigeon into a large recycling bin. I didn’t realise pigeons were recyclable, but there you go. You learn something new every day.