Step into my office

by Steve

This is where I apologise for the lack of quality, thought-out, in-depth posts this week. And this is where I acknowledge that this blog isn’t really about quality, thought-out, in-depth posts, anyway. And this is where I explain that today I am going to give you lucky readers a series of excuses, as it has been quite a week for your correspondent. Human Interest Blog Post! Just what you wanted to read, right?

Well, the week would have been challenging enough if it we’d just had to deal with the wedding planning. It is now the stage where all the fiddly details need to be sorted, y’know, like actually paying suppliers and stuff. And sorting out all the things few people will actually notice and comment upon on the day, but certainly would notice and comment upon if they weren’t there.

Our flat is rapidly looking like a wedding suppliers warehouse, which I think will be a really lovely memory in years to come. Luckily, as always, my Significant Other has been an absolute star with all this.

But to add to that, we’ve had the Drains Situation. This started with some minor flooding outside our backdoor, and ended with a very real risk of our flat being consumed with tonnes of human effluent. I shudder to think what our neighbours have been eating, but it can’t have been good.

You’ll be pleased to hear that after countless plumbers and drain-y people trudged through our place and examined the drains under many, many properties, the problem was finally resolved. And so we can breathe a huge sigh of relief that our flat is safe. And we can breathe a second huge sigh of relief that we won’t have to change our wedding colour theme to brown.

And then…just to add to that…my workplace is going through a serious ‘restructuring’ programme. I think you all know what that really means.

The major benefit of this has been I now have a wealth of material for any future Great Office Novel I may write.

The downside was a rather traumatic day. People were called in, quietly, and seemingly at random, to hear their fate. The ‘dentists waiting room’ analogy doesn’t really do it justice. I felt more like Sigourney Weaver in Alien.

One by one, my colleagues were being picked off by some strange, shadowy force. Some were never seen again. A few escaped, clearly traumatised, and quite possibly doomed. I half expected one of them to flop on their desk, and writhe about as a Human Resources Consultant burst out of their chest.

As it stands, I’ve survived so far. But I have realised, in the office environment, no one can hear you scream…

Image by Mike Rugnetta, via Flickr